Beberapa waktu lalu usia saya memasuki kepala tiga. Selain usia 19 dan 26, saya dari dulu selalu menanti-nanti usia ke-30 ini. Entah mengapa, usia 30 berkesan dewasa dan matang di pandangan saya dan saya tidak sabar untuk merayakannya sampai ke dekade selanjutnya.

Sebagai lulusan usia 20-an, ada banyak hal yang saya alami dan rasakan selama sepuluh tahun terakhir. Dengan segala kerendahan hati, ini adalah 30 pelajaran hidup yang saya pelajari dan ingin catatkan di sini.

Tentang Manusia

1. Berikan perhatian lebih pada sosok yang hadir di saat kita sedang berduka, bukan yang hanya ada di saat kita sedang bergembira.
2. Berikan perhatian lebih pada orang yang sedang berduka, bukan hanya di saat ia sedang bergembira.
3. Your parents are human. You will reject it, of course, because you have the expectation of them. The perfectly imperfect parents. They traveled through thick and thin and fought dragons for their children. Cancer? No way. But at the end of the day, the realization washes you over. They are human. An amazing one. Then life gets harder, because the gravity of the realization follows you and you feel a tang of pain you cannot quite put a word on. You wish you could be a superhuman like them too. You wish you could be their superhuman. I wish I am.
4. It is nice to respect someone. But it is important to respect yourself first.
5. Cutting out toxic people or relationship really does give a peace of mind.
6. Sangat sulit untuk mengenali dan mengakui kesalahan diri sendiri. So if you can, find a mentor in life. Not to fix your mistakes, but to guide you so you eventually could see your own mistakes.
7. You are never alone in feeling what you are feeling. Really, each of the human being in this world is a special snowflake.
8. Everyone is still figuring out something in their life. Find comfort in that.
9. Most people have no idea how to answer, 'How can I help you?' Practice yourself to answer and to ask it.
10. You do not need to tell anyone that you are learning something new. Silence is still gold.

Tentang Privilese

1. If you have the power or privilege to curate your working environment, then do it. A great work ethic comes from the right environment.
2. To cherish what you have is to share them. Berbagi dan memberi pada yang membutuhkan tidak akan membuat kita menjadi kekurangan.
3. There will always be people who hates you, and will hate you, no matter what you do. But there are a lot of those who don't. Focus on them. Focus on those who loves you.
4. Just because something is cheap doesn't mean you need to buy it. Also applies on discounted items. You did not save 30% of your money. You just spent 70% of yours.
5. You are the master of your money. Money is not the root of the devil. Money is a tool, a key to unlock your truest self. When you are given that tool, see how it changes you.
6. Nothing is worth it if you are not happy with where you are in life.
7. The greatest joy in the world is freedom. To be able to do whatever you want to do, to be wherever you want to be, whenever and in whichever way you chose. Sometimes, the presence of money grants you this.. other times, the absence of money sets you free.
8. Tidak semua permasalahan harus diselesaikan. Some needs to just be heard, some needs to just be felt, and some just needs to be empathized with.
9. To live a life with a person you don't need a break from is a privilege.
10. What goes around comes around. If you have the option, always be kind. Just like Selena Gomez' says, "Kill them with kindness."

Tentang Diri

1. Tidak ada yang perlu ditakuti dari rasa takut. Rasa takut ada untuk dirasakan. Mengakui bahwa kita merasa takut berarti kita memvalidasi dan menghargai perasaan kita. Question the fear. Then it will disappear because it has served its purpose.
2. Sama seperti poin sebelumnya, tidak ada yang salah dari merasakan berbagai emosi yang diberi label negatif. It is okay to feel sad, mad, nervous, tired, jealous, and skeptical sometimes. Do not let the toxic positivity drives you crazy. Validate your feelings.
3. Instead of focusing on setting goals in life, I now set habits. For goals only serve the desire and left us shitty when we failed to fulfilled it. Meanwhile, habits will guide us to a change we set our aim to.
4. Take criticism seriously, not personally.
5. Belajar untuk belajar. The most important skill to learn is how to learn on your own.
6. Do not make your lack of preparation as an excuse to not start. Start small, start now.
7. Consistency trumps all traits. You can learn a lot of skills with pure consistency.
8. As cliche as it sounds, be the best version of yourself, not a better version of someone else's. The only person you need to compare yourself is the yesterday's you.
9. Take time to care for your mental wellbeing. Find a suitable system to unload whatever in your mind. Nothing is quite enjoyable as having a peaceful mind.
10. Take care of your physical self too. Do that workout programs you saved somewhere on your Youtube playlist. Swim, ride your bike, go for run or a walk, or a quiet yoga or pilates session. Because the back pain... my gosh, the back pain.

Time flies... although the feeling didn't. It's like you're paralyzed or chained to the feeling, the memory. As much as I hate a certain feeling or experience, it made me the way I am. It strengthens me. It shows me my raw and truest self.

My twenty nine was rough. As I sit here and typed this post, I think about my parents, my estranged friends, my best friends, and I glanced around my husband sitting in front of me. I made it to thirty.

Untuk setiap butiran partikel memori, emosi, dan luka yang sudah terkikis, menghilang, lahir dan terbentuk selama tiga dekade ini... Terima kasih karena membuat saya bisa bertahan. Selamat ulang tahun, An!